Fitting In

Fitting in is totally out of style now, right?!  Too bad my inner child has not caught up with this trend.  Maybe it’s not so much ‘fitting in’ that I have a thing with, it’s more about being liked and having friends.  It goes back to my childhood when I didn’t have a lot of friends, and I definitely didn’t fit in (so maybe it’s a little of both).   Continue reading

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Friendship

Friendship has always been hard for me.  

As far back as I can remember, all I’ve ever wanted is to be accepted and liked by my peers.  I think most people have this innate desire.  For some it is more subconscious while others are more acutely aware of their hankering to belong.   Continue reading

Don’t Be A Flake

We have all known someone who fails to keep plans from time to time.  In fact, we have probably all been that person at some point in our lives.  Sometimes it’s unavoidable, emergencies pop up and we have to cancel at the last-minute – it happens.  Then there are the people who do this type of thing far too often and the worst part is, they don’t seem to think it’s a problem.  These people are flaky.  Their behavior implies they do not care about your time or your feelings when they continually bail on you at the last-minute.  It’s simple, don’t be a flake. Continue reading

Awareness

Today I am aware of my emotions and how I respond to them.  I don’t always know what causes them but my involuntary response to most overwhelming emotions are tears.  I have also noticed that I do not always express what I want from others and then find myself upset even though I know people can’t read my mind.   Continue reading

Living in a Resort Town

When you grow up in Iowa, like I did, Spring Break is a big deal.  It’s still very cold in March in Iowa so going somewhere warm is also a big deal.  Every March my family packed up and headed to Florida for eleven days of beachy, sunshiny bliss!  As it turns out, I ended up falling in love with a man who lives in the very same town my family spent so many years vacationing.  We got married, and now I live in that beachy, sunshiny town.  It’s like being on vacation forever, right?!   Continue reading

America’s Electoral College

Preface: I hate politics.  In fact, I don’t claim to understand much about politics and I don’t make an attempt to educate myself beyond the little that I do know.  What you are about to read was an assignment I was given for the class I am currently taking.  The instructions were simple; write a paper discussing what the Electoral College is, when it was enacted, and your opinion regarding its continued use – no length requirement.  I figured today would be the perfect day to share this little nugget of, um, intellectual prowess (haha) seeing as the Electoral College will be determining the next leader of America after today’s election.   Continue reading

Courage At The End

They had hospital beds side by side in their apartment at the nursing home where they lived.  She had end-stage bone cancer, barely holding onto life.  He was diagnosed with failure to thrive, the only thing he was holding onto in this life was her.

She had weeks to live and every moment was wrought with pain.  They both had 24-hour care and the hospice nurses used everything at their disposal to make her comfortable.  Her words were barely audible and she was bed bound.  She had to be moved every few hours to avoid bedsores but every movement was agonizing.  He was constantly concerned about her, wanting to be near her, hoping to depart this world at the very moment she did.  He made that clear, announcing that he did not want to live a moment past her last breath – though his health indicated he would.   Continue reading

Question Marks

My life has too many question marks right now.  Will I get to keep my unemployment benefits?  What’s going to happen with my claim of discrimination against my former employer?  What kind of training/education will I receive through vocational rehabilitation?  What type of job will I end up getting after I go through the training via voc rehab and how long will this process take?  Am I still eligible for unemployment benefits while receiving services from voc rehab?   Continue reading

A Drive Down Memory Lane

Drive-Down-Memory-Lane

The memories hit me like a ton of bricks as we hit the freeway leaving Long Beach.  I didn’t want to go, five hours wasn’t enough time.  I had finally gotten to unite my two loves – my husband and my city. Continue reading

On Silence and Bukowski

Silence speaks to me in the early morning hours.  Little sparks firing like shooting stars beforeSilence and Bukowski eyelids crack open, before I realize a new day has begun.  I wonder what I would say if I could write in my sleep, those fleeting thoughts that slip away before I’m able to reach paper and pen?  The silence speaks to me before the obligations that devour the day begin and drown out the peaceful reverie between my soul and my fingertips.  Oh, how I crave those moments! Continue reading