I started this blog to create a safe and comfortable space to talk about depression. A place for venting, sometimes wallowing, a place for conversation, for creating awareness, for understanding, processing, educating, connecting and for encouragement. This blog is not just for myself, but it is for anyone who wants to join in; depression not only affects the diagnosed, but also their friends, family, and co-workers. It can be raw, downright ugly, and very painful for all involved. It is not for the faint of heart. This post, however, isn’t about that. We also cannot forget that there is so much more to an individual than their diagnosis!
It is so important that people understand there is more to me, to anyone who is diagnosed and suffering, than the emotions and behaviors associated with depression. I am a whole person, composed of many pieces, and depression is simply a slice of the proverbial pie that makes me who I am.
My loved ones would tell you that I am a kind person; I go out of my way to help others, because it is in my nature to do so. I believe in Karma; the more positive energy you put into the world, the more will come back into your own life (and vice versa).
I am honest. Sometimes too honest, depending who you ask. I spent too much time when I was younger trying to be something I wasn’t, or trying to hide who I was (is that the same thing?). Now there are times when I would probably get better results if I just “faked it” here and there, but I am simply over that. I am who I am, and if you don’t like it I don’t really care. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not offensive or rude in being who I am, that’s not my style. But honesty isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, it makes some people uncomfortable. Sorrynotsorry.
I love deeply, be it family or friends (or fur-babies). I guess you could say I am one of those girls who falls head over heels, but not just for boys! My husband is the only one who gets that kind of my love anymore 🙂 Seriously though, I love making deep connections with people, it’s what makes me tick. Friends are the family in life that you get to choose, and when you find the right ones, it’s better than any kind of high in my book. However, I found out the hard way (repeatedly) that you really do find out who your true friends are in the worst of times, and I was left with very few, more than once. Just one of the many side effects of depression (and poor choices, but that’s a whole different topic).
I am smart, witty and funny. Goofy might describe me better than funny, I’m actually terrible at telling jokes. I am an avid reader, my all-time favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut because he
is was simply brilliant. I am passionate about social issues as Sociology was my major in college. I love pretending I can do interpretive dance, especially to Sia’s Chandelier, because I think dancers are incredible and I look like a beached dolphin when I do it.
I am an artist. That was hard for me to say because I fight with myself over whether or not I believe that I am. But I think if you were to peel away every layer of me until you reached the very core of my soul, I think that’s what you would find – a starving artist. I used to draw, but I’ve never felt “at home” with drawing or painting. The images I see in my head never turn out the same once on paper, and that frustrates me. I make wire wrapped jewelry and have a little shop on Etsy that does ok. I love to write, even when I can’t think of a single word to put to paper. Writing is what I’m passionate about, I want to improve my skills, I want to take classes. I want to write until my heart no longer beats.
See, I’m a semi-normal looking person. I take selfies just like everybody else lol I go out and do things, sometimes 😉
***I would love to make this a series, if you or anyone you know would like to share your story about what makes you who you are despite your mental health diagnosis please contact me about being a guest blogger!!!